By the way, Shane is doing well. Amongst all the hype of diet and supplementation I completely forgot to mention how Shane is going! I also forgot to mention the most significant part of him being attached to a pump 24/7. The medication is designed to be administered every 12hrs. The nurse that connected it thought it was a good idea to start it at 1pm that day. This now means that it goes of at both 1pm, and 1AM! That nurse obviously never spent the night connected to a pump!
There is one topic that I have been avoiding, and it is about time I finally tackle it.
The Doctors.
This is a difficult topic for me as I have developed a love-hate relationship with Shane's Doctors. Not all the doctors, its more the consultants.
Over the years, we have gotten to know these consultants reasonably well. We're on a first name basis with these doctors and we know bits about their hobbies, habits and families. This doesn't make it any easier when they have bad news.
There have been many absolutely heart-breaking moments when with these doctors. They are the bearers of such awful news, and this is a very heavy responsibility for them to bear. First they have to inform you that you have cancer, then they run some more tests to tell you what type of cancer, then they decide what type of treatment you require, but the most harrowing parts are when hearing the percentage chance that you will survive or when they approach you in the company of a social worker. We tend to (as best we can) ignore the percentages, we focus more on the fact that there is a chance of survival, no matter how slim, there is a chance. If a doctor is in the presence of a social worker, then you know the prognosis is not good.
There is not a moment now, after all we have been through, that I don't suffer anxiety when they walk in the room. One Haematologist is so acutely aware of my moods, and "worries" that he's said anything to offend me. It has been difficult to explain that it wasn't offence, it was more shock. If he took a step outside himself and listened to the words he was saying, then applied them to the person he loves most in his life, then he would understand a little better.
Don't get me wrong though, many of these Doctors are great people, especially the ones directly responsible for Shane's treatment. They have been genuine and caring. When all is going well, they're happy to have a joke with us, or a bit of a yarn. When things aren't so well, they're a little more serious about things and distance themselves somewhat. It must be hard for them to develop a rapport with patients, when few of them actually survive. I make sure that to them, we're not just patients, we're humans, and worth fighting for.
The other amazing thing about the Doctors at the RBH is they work as a team. They discuss all of their cases, analyse all the information, and make a joint decision about a treatment plan. It is comforting to know that you're life isn't being handled on the whim of one person's perspective.
Happy Valentines Day!
xx
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